So, what’s this guy doing again?

I suppose an explanation is in order around here.  Why am I really here?  What am I doing?  What do I hope to accomplish here?

I want to be someone.  I want to go places.  I want to make a name for myself.  It’s really as simple as that.  There are dreams and ambitions that I have.  A lot of people don’t understand them.  Heck, half the time I don’t understand them.

But they’re present and they’re important to me.

These crazy fantasies that run around in my head, banging things around and making general nuisances of themselves, need to be fed and freed.  I can’t let them sit there and dink around until my brain turns to mush.  No, sir (or ma’am).  It’s not going to happen.  And so I write.

Until very recently, I was going to school in hopes of being a dentist in the very distant future.  Every day, I woke up dreading going to school.  I failed organic chemistry 2.  It was the first time I had ever failed a class.  I know this sounds bad, but I had no desire to try again.  I signed up for the class again, but I just didn’t want to do it.  I didn’t want to become a dentist.

That night, my wife asked me a very eye-opening question, one I’d never really asked myself: did I really want to go into dentistry?  My wife has always been so supportive of my desires to write and someday become a published author.  This was the moment of truth, the turning point.  Everything clicked in my head.  I realized what I knew all along: the only reason I was doing dentistry was because of the money, not because I actually wanted to do it.  Yeah, writing will probably never earn me as much money as I would have made being a dentist, but who cares?  Writing is something I love.

I changed my major to English with a creative writing emphasis and that’s what I’m doing now while trying to write something worth reading.  I’ll get there one day.  I know I will.


Gyropter Guy

I figure this is as good a way as any to begin this blog.

The Gyropter Guy.

A few days ago I entered my lovely work place, ready to sell some cell phones to the hordes of eager members, when I saw him.  He was standing there in his black slacks and black polo shirt that proudly introduced him as a “Flight Expert.”   He was flying an RC helicopter.  The hordes of eager members were “oohing” and “aahing”…I mean, come on, the thing has flashing LED lights on it.  I was a little wide eyed as well.

Now, my workplace (the name of which shall remain undisclosed for now) usually boasts a wide variety of third party vendors.  We get popcorn guys, weird, lotion-applying guys, clothing guys, artist guys…you name it, we get it.  Most of the time, I smile and nod politely to the dudes, knowing their product won’t rival the awesomeness of my smartphone technology.  And even though I hardly get people stopping by my little piece of store, I get more than the third party guys, unless they’re super pushy. (My workplace has a sort of strict “don’t-be-pushy” attitude when it comes to phones–most of the time, anyway–so I’m not shoving them down members’ throats.)  But the Gyropter Guy.  Dang.  This guy is good.  And every day I wonder: “How?  Why?”

Every day I see him with a massive stack of Gyropters, flying a demo version around, swooping it in peoples’ faces and making it fly all the way to the ceiling.  Mr. Flight Expert has a routine that he repeats every 5 minutes, which I scoff at because, you know, when you’re in sales, you need to mix things up…right?  Apparently not for him.

He starts by flying it way high and then letting it drop to the concrete floor.  People gasp.  He just smiles and picks it up, sending it on its way again, lights flashing happily as if it didn’t just drop 20 feet onto concrete.  Then, he lands it in his hand and keeps the rotors going for a moment.  Then, he proceeds to bash the rotating blades against anything and everything: the remote control, the floor, his face…whatever.  Still with that smile on his face, he grabs one of the rotors and flips the poor little helicopter all over the place and then flies it away to the ceiling to begin the routine all over again.  And he says, “Pretty cool, huh?  Half off it’s normal price!”

This is when people place multiple gyropters in their shopping carts.  Seriously, I saw a lady stack six–SIX!–into her cart like they were candy.  These things are fifty bucks a pop.  Unless I suck at math, that’s $300, not including tax or anything.  Geez.  Why not get the kids a couple of smart phones?  I promise we sell them cheaper than anywhere else!  Even getting as much as $100 off.

But that’s not the best part.  Here’s the best part:  Mr. Flight Expert, after every time he sells one of his Gyropters, looks over at me and smirks.  Uh-uh.  Not in my home turf.  So, I steal his routine.  I take one of our demo phones, with a hardcore, impact resistant case and start throwing it around in front of members. (“Pretty cool, huh?  They’re on sale!”) This is sure to get me some sales, right?  Nope.  They don’t even look in my direction.  I try calling out to them, everything, but nothing works.  I guess there’s something about flashing LED lights and RC helicopters that people will never be able to resist.

Maybe I should become a Flight Expert one of these days….